1. Sauté onions, celery, mushrooms and carrots with two slices of bacon.
2. Drain and set vegetables and bacon aside. (Seftel prefers organic carrots because "they definitely taste better.")
3. Get a kosher chicken ("tastier, even more tender than organic free-range birds"). Remove the skin.
4. Put the whole bird in the Crock-Pot and cover it with some low-salt chicken stock, a small can of tomato paste, a couple of large cans of puréed tomatoes and at least ½ bottle of palatable red wine ("something strongish like a Shiraz/Syrah, Cabernet, Malbec").
5. Set timer to low heat for 10 hours.
6. About 2/3 the way through, throw in onions, celery, mushroom, carrots, more wine ("I like it really winey").
7. About one hour before serving, add bacon, fresh thyme, tiny bit of rosemary, ground pepper and maybe a pinch of salt.
8. Serve over egg noodles or with crusty bread to mop up everything. ("I also really like harissa, so if there's any in the house, I'll definitely use it.")